Jana Pleyto
Sandra 1The lost art of the Good Call
August 17th 2007 07:26
It seems to me that these days the “Good Call” has done the Harold Holt from regular banter and found itself as rare as Hen’s Teeth.
Whether it’s the old, flog the dead horse, treatment with the use of the four letter ones, the devolution of language to suit the needs of a populous obsessed with infantile colouring books and television shows dressed up like actual culture or the devastating effects of the ingestion and regurgitation of all the profound offerings we receive from the Septic Tanks through the magic boxes inhabiting our wrists, phones and head rests.
Whatever it is, you can say, safe as houses, that the last time you heard a good call was when Jesus played full back for Nazareth.
Good calls are what we Australians, the colloquial custodians, have done for the English language. The other English speaking nations haven’t got a brass razzo on what we’ve accomplished with the Old Queens English. We’ve taken a bastardized and largely nonsensical language and turned into one that built like a brick shit house capable of conversing in any situation formal or otherwise.
Let’s have a Captain Cook at the many Bonza calls and other interpretations we Australians have given the English language:
I could eat the arse out of a low flying duck: I am quite hungry
I’m as dry as a dead Dingo’s Donger: I am quite thirsty
It’s better than a kick in the head: Your problems are in consequential when comparison is made to physical injury
Fuck me Hooray: What an upsetting turn of events
God strike me handsome: As above (For use in more formal conversation)
Flat out like a lizard drinking: As you can see I am quite busy at this point in time
Out the back of Burke, Beyond the Black Stump: A place that is far away
Goonbag: inexpensive cask wine
As useless as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest: Having little or no attributes that society would find of any interest
Funny as a fat in an elevator: That is quite humourous
Bogan: A person who has little or no interest in culture or hygeine
Fair suck of the Sav: I think you are exaggerating the current topic
Done like a dinner: The action in question is complete
What do you think this is? Bush week?: Are you insulting my intelligence?
And that’s not even including the common practice of shortening our words due to the hectic nature of our lives and lack of adequate time to form entire words:
Arvo: Afternoon
Barbie: Barbeque
Brekkie: Breakfast
Convo: Conversation
Compo: Compensation
Divvy Van: Divisional Van (As in the popular song “You’re goin home in the back of a Divvy Van”
Smoko: Smoke Break
And Christain names have so much more emotive weight when given the same treatment:
Shazza: Sharon, Sheryl or lesser used for Charmain
Bazza: Barry
Dazza: Darren or Darrell
David: Davo
Jeffro or Jeffa: Geoffrey or Jeffrey
Jezza: Jeremy
Jordo: Jordan
Jazz: Jackie or Jasmine
Kath: Kathleen
Kazza: Karen or Kassie
Lockie: Lachlan
Stevo: Steven
Surnames are treated with the same reverence:
Clarky: Clark
Dicko: Dickson
Huddo: Hudson
Jonesy: Jones
Jacko: Jackson
Richo: Richardson (as with Christian name Richard)
Smitty: Smith
Walshy: Walsh
Now of course you could get by without using any these, you could even try switching over to the poor example of a language the Yanks converse in. You could say things like “looks like Bob’s dropped the ball the ball on that one” or “Chad’s gotten himself in the rough” or “So Candy’s was like totally like you know whatever”. But these are poor choices when one could call Bob the rightful Bludger that he is, or tell Chad to pull he’s bloody head in or make the observation that Candy’s commentator has a Roo loose in the top paddock. Neglecting all these linguistics gems is like a full plate of Lamingtons at the end of a Mother’s Club meeting, it just shouldn’t happen.
The history of Australian slang and the Good Call is in keeping with the history of the English language, it has been formed through the amalgamation of a number of languages when their speakers are forced into each other company. But as the English language was wrung out of French, Scandinavian, German and Native Celtic, the Australian language takes its elements from Irish, Middle English, Scottish and many different dialects of the native Australian Aboriginals.
Starting with one of the classics:
Dinkum. Used most commonly to say Fair dinkum, which can be used to question something’s integrity. “Is this fair dinkum?” This word is said to come from the East Midlands in England where the word meant hard work.
Yakka. Used when talking about work. “Digging that bloody hole was Hard Yakka” Yakka is said to come from an Aboriginal language from near Bris-Vegas (Brisbane)
Billy. Used to make tea in. From the classic song Waltzing Matilda “As we sang and we watched and waited till the Billy boiled” Billy is a Scottish word that means cooking utensil.
Sheila. A classic Australian slang used in reference to both women and young girls. “That wife of your’s is a good Sheila” Sheila comes from the Irish Gaelic word Sile
Unfortunately the common use of Australian slang has gained something of an ironic connotation mainly due to Paul Hogan and that bubbling parody of a Nation “Home and Away” with it’s character “Alf Stewart” flingin his “Flamin Galahs” and “Hogan Ghosts” around “Summer Bay”. Even advertising companies have tried to highjack them for their own good. McDonalds has been known to call itself Macca’s and I remember one horrible day in England when I spied a packet of pork sausages with the words “G’Day for a Barbie” stamped on them. Despicable. Not only is it grammatically incorrect translating as “Hello for a Barbie” its slap in the face with a cold mop to all good Blokes and Sheilas that have never thrown a shrimp anywhere near a Barbie and have had a gut full with people thinking we all came down in the last shower.
In summary I ask you this. Why not give the tired old four letter ones the slip. Lose the “Likes” and the “Whatevers” and grab good old Aussie slang by the balls. I guarantee you’ll sound as flash as a rat with a gold tooth and your Good Calls will stick out like Dog’s Balls.
Whether it’s the old, flog the dead horse, treatment with the use of the four letter ones, the devolution of language to suit the needs of a populous obsessed with infantile colouring books and television shows dressed up like actual culture or the devastating effects of the ingestion and regurgitation of all the profound offerings we receive from the Septic Tanks through the magic boxes inhabiting our wrists, phones and head rests.
Whatever it is, you can say, safe as houses, that the last time you heard a good call was when Jesus played full back for Nazareth.
Good calls are what we Australians, the colloquial custodians, have done for the English language. The other English speaking nations haven’t got a brass razzo on what we’ve accomplished with the Old Queens English. We’ve taken a bastardized and largely nonsensical language and turned into one that built like a brick shit house capable of conversing in any situation formal or otherwise.
Let’s have a Captain Cook at the many Bonza calls and other interpretations we Australians have given the English language:
I could eat the arse out of a low flying duck: I am quite hungry
I’m as dry as a dead Dingo’s Donger: I am quite thirsty
It’s better than a kick in the head: Your problems are in consequential when comparison is made to physical injury
Fuck me Hooray: What an upsetting turn of events
God strike me handsome: As above (For use in more formal conversation)
Flat out like a lizard drinking: As you can see I am quite busy at this point in time
Out the back of Burke, Beyond the Black Stump: A place that is far away
As useless as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest: Having little or no attributes that society would find of any interest
Funny as a fat in an elevator: That is quite humourous
Bogan: A person who has little or no interest in culture or hygeine
Fair suck of the Sav: I think you are exaggerating the current topic
Done like a dinner: The action in question is complete
What do you think this is? Bush week?: Are you insulting my intelligence?
And that’s not even including the common practice of shortening our words due to the hectic nature of our lives and lack of adequate time to form entire words:
Arvo: Afternoon
Barbie: Barbeque
Brekkie: Breakfast
Convo: Conversation
Compo: Compensation
Divvy Van: Divisional Van (As in the popular song “You’re goin home in the back of a Divvy Van”
Smoko: Smoke Break
And Christain names have so much more emotive weight when given the same treatment:
Shazza: Sharon, Sheryl or lesser used for Charmain
Bazza: Barry
Dazza: Darren or Darrell
David: Davo
Jeffro or Jeffa: Geoffrey or Jeffrey
Jezza: Jeremy
Jordo: Jordan
Jazz: Jackie or Jasmine
Kath: Kathleen
Kazza: Karen or Kassie
Lockie: Lachlan
Stevo: Steven
Surnames are treated with the same reverence:
Clarky: Clark
Dicko: Dickson
Huddo: Hudson
Jonesy: Jones
Jacko: Jackson
Richo: Richardson (as with Christian name Richard)
Smitty: Smith
Walshy: Walsh
Now of course you could get by without using any these, you could even try switching over to the poor example of a language the Yanks converse in. You could say things like “looks like Bob’s dropped the ball the ball on that one” or “Chad’s gotten himself in the rough” or “So Candy’s was like totally like you know whatever”. But these are poor choices when one could call Bob the rightful Bludger that he is, or tell Chad to pull he’s bloody head in or make the observation that Candy’s commentator has a Roo loose in the top paddock. Neglecting all these linguistics gems is like a full plate of Lamingtons at the end of a Mother’s Club meeting, it just shouldn’t happen.
The history of Australian slang and the Good Call is in keeping with the history of the English language, it has been formed through the amalgamation of a number of languages when their speakers are forced into each other company. But as the English language was wrung out of French, Scandinavian, German and Native Celtic, the Australian language takes its elements from Irish, Middle English, Scottish and many different dialects of the native Australian Aboriginals.
Starting with one of the classics:
Dinkum. Used most commonly to say Fair dinkum, which can be used to question something’s integrity. “Is this fair dinkum?” This word is said to come from the East Midlands in England where the word meant hard work.
Yakka. Used when talking about work. “Digging that bloody hole was Hard Yakka” Yakka is said to come from an Aboriginal language from near Bris-Vegas (Brisbane)
Billy. Used to make tea in. From the classic song Waltzing Matilda “As we sang and we watched and waited till the Billy boiled” Billy is a Scottish word that means cooking utensil.
Sheila. A classic Australian slang used in reference to both women and young girls. “That wife of your’s is a good Sheila” Sheila comes from the Irish Gaelic word Sile
Unfortunately the common use of Australian slang has gained something of an ironic connotation mainly due to Paul Hogan and that bubbling parody of a Nation “Home and Away” with it’s character “Alf Stewart” flingin his “Flamin Galahs” and “Hogan Ghosts” around “Summer Bay”. Even advertising companies have tried to highjack them for their own good. McDonalds has been known to call itself Macca’s and I remember one horrible day in England when I spied a packet of pork sausages with the words “G’Day for a Barbie” stamped on them. Despicable. Not only is it grammatically incorrect translating as “Hello for a Barbie” its slap in the face with a cold mop to all good Blokes and Sheilas that have never thrown a shrimp anywhere near a Barbie and have had a gut full with people thinking we all came down in the last shower.
In summary I ask you this. Why not give the tired old four letter ones the slip. Lose the “Likes” and the “Whatevers” and grab good old Aussie slang by the balls. I guarantee you’ll sound as flash as a rat with a gold tooth and your Good Calls will stick out like Dog’s Balls.
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